16 Days

16 Days ….. 10-16pm …11:40pm

16 Days
I watched for 16 days as the idiots we elected threatened to shut down America.
16 days of non-stop trouble making.
16 days of countdown clocks.
16 days of Breaking News graphics
16 days of Wolf Blitzer around the clock
16 days of fighting
16 days of blaming
16 days of Left
16 days of Wrong
16 days of formulaic equations
16 days of meetings
16 days of grandstanding
I watched for 16 days as the leaders of his country held America hostage
16 days of continuous non-talk
16 days of cable news channel flipping
16 days of CSPAN
16 days of Jake Tapper staying up past his bedtime
16 days of the Capitol Building
16 days of the Senate floor
16 days of Right
16 days of Cruz
16 days of people counting how many ways we are in trouble
16 days of greetings
16 days of nothing outstanding
I watched for 16 days as the president promised not to budge
16 days of constant empty press conferences
16 days of makeup
16 days of hair don’ts
16 days of Sean Hannity tossing his stupid football at a camera
16 days of squabbles
16 days of evil stares
16 days of the Center
16 days of song
16 days of ceilings being raised and lowered- at the same time
16 days of shuffling feet
16 days of people getting nowhere
I watched for 16 straight days as America was hijacked by puke
16 days of incompetent head games
16 days of closing signs
16 days of elephants and jackasses
16 days of Rachel Maddow gloating
16 days of rushing
16 days of slowing down
16 days of not this
16 days of just that
16 days of the new math
16 days. I sat here watching for 16 days?
16 days later I want my 16 days back!

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Social Stupiidia

Social Stupidia….2-6-13…10:55am

I am going to be kind, by my measure of the word anyway. These fucking eejets that now state their well thought out opinion publicly based on what their favorite celebrity has to say is making me sick. Watching them ask for, and receiving, recognition from the selected famous person makes me want to track them both down and punch them in their fucking faces.

This is now the new fad. Social media has replaced what little pride people still had when it came to their opinion. It used to be that you could watch a movie and argue outloud with the choices the characters were making. It never mattered if you were alone or in a room full of people doing the same exact thing. Everyone had an opinion.

“No don’t go in that room, make a left”-

No that’s the wrong door, open the one behind you”-

“Why the hell do all of the pretty girls always walk around the house half naked when the boogeyman is on the loose?” –

“Why the hell are all the girls wearing so much clothes, it’ll only slow them down when the boogeyman finds them. Take them off!”-

And of course my always ready at the ready favorite;

“Just fuck already! This is supposed to be an R-rated movie? My ass it is. Where’s all the fucking?”

This is all now replaced by these wise and equally as well thought out comments:

“Hey Hulkster how’s about a RT for my 3 day old dog who is your biggest Hulkamaniac?” #vitamnsprayers-

“Hey Adam who do you think will be the #Mets 7th starting pitcher?”

“Hey #CharlieSheen if you RT me I’ll watch your show for 30 days straight on a loop” #dvrrewind

“@piersmorgan your wrong about gunz. @alexjones says so”

The last one will undoubtedly find a reply that states

“It’s you’re”- Piers Morgan is the grammar snob to the want to be stars after all-

Social media has done a lot to advance the theory that the world is getting smaller. Personally I think that’s a good thing. I can now see things that are happening around the world that 20 years ago I would never have known about. I can now make up my mind on the regime of a country and base it on my own research. I no longer need to wait for the morning paper to arrive just to find that single biased report that is more often than not tucked away somewhere near the  want ads or the new “it” item on sale at Bloomingdales in the anything but news-paper. I can also make an imaginary friend who may live down the block from me or on the other side of the world and we can exchange laughs and stupid jokes. These are the plusses of social media.

I can also read the lame-ass, lonely, word for word repeater of information disguised as bloggers repeat what they and everyone else just read. Then watch as they repeat it as their own thought with a link to their very own blog. It’s excruciatingly annoying to me! I want to get all of these bloggers in a room and water torture them until they promise to no longer be a fan of the same teams that I am of.

Another non-favorite line that pisses me off now that I mentioned these too lazy to go to school phony fuck supposed journalists is this-

“Whoever gave up on their team after that one game isn’t really a fan” That’s when they decide to invoke their right to remain un-silent?

Fuck you and your saying that I’m not a true fan bullshit, asshole! That’s what being a fucking fan IS all about. It’s not about jerking off to all of the memorabilia that your rich mommy and daddy have collected for you since birth as you slowly became brain washed to root for their favorite teams. It’s about choosing something and then getting pissed off when you get let down. It’s about taking that shit personally as if the team has wronged you personally. Then you cheer like a fucking crazed person when they win. Fan is short for Crazy Mother Fucking Lunatic Living and Dying with each and Every Fucking Moment of the Game!

Now back to the news portion of this bitch fest.

The gun control, or as I continue to say it, the weapons problem debate that we are having in America is all but forgotten. Sure a bunch of us raised our ire and stood our ground, but now mostly it’s quiet. Something else seems to have taken over the public’s imagination and yesterday’s news is so last week. The attention whores just retweet, or even worse say something that is exactly what their famous person of choice just said in order to be noticed. They add a #hashtag this and an @that and then whoooosh off into space they send someone else’s thoughts right back to them. Will someone please explain to me what the fuck is so exciting about this stupid fucking phenomenon, please?

You people make my stomach hurt. You make my brain race around in circles. And you make my fists lock up and automatically take aim at you and your, god I hate even saying this stupid fuck of a word- avatar.

And lastly, while I’m on the subject of Twitterheads and their made up personalities allow me to state a fact that may twist your shrunken balls up into a not- as in not an actual pair of balls. I am sorry to disillusion all of you but I refuse to “Follow” any of you. I am not into cults and have no desire to be subjected to the status of cult member. I don’t “follow” anyone- I pay attention to what they say if that. The next person that begs me for a “follow” can just ‘swallow” me.

Facebook is no better. I often say that the only differences between the Facebook’s and Twitter’s of the world is that on one of them I piss off people I’m supposed to know. On the other one I piss off people I will never be mistaken for knowing. However there are a few people who keep tabs on me via both. I call some of them “Lonely Pathetic Spies” then I fuck with them intentionally in hopes that a good rumor gets started.

When people are free to use more than 140 characters you really get to see how boring people are. It’s as if there is one idiot in charge of reading the entire internet each morning in search of stupid, usually not even close to being funny, not even cute, lame, sorry assed, woe is me, please read and share this piece of ignorance, picture saying things that once you’ve seen it once you’ve seen a them thousand onces, all in the matter of one fucking day. Once again- where the hell is the original thought process? It has been replaced by re-cycled bullshit aimed at saying “Look at what I did everybody. I pressed ‘Like’ and ‘share’ and I ‘Commented” with an abbreviation even though I am allowed to type 140,000 words here if I so chose to do so. It was so funny that I am currently roflmmfao even though that is a physical impossibility.

And pictures of food, stop showing your “friends” what the fuck you are eating. NO One Gives a Flying Fuck! I don’t sit around all day taking pictures of what I ‘just ate’ so don’t show me what you are about to ‘just ate’. The high majority of you picture whores suck at cooking and are fat fucking pigs. This I can tell by looking at your paper plate full of canned meats and boxed rice labeled “fresh” when you describe your dietary desires. I’m fat, but at least I have the decency not to show off why the fuck I’m fat. Ask yourselves this; would you all be that fucking interested in seeing a pile of empty tv dinner boxes if I posted that for all to see? You ignorant worthless, lonesome, attention whore, lying, rat trash, mother fuckers!

Say what you will about my opinion, but it’s always mine!

You bunch of pathetic fucktards






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Sports Writers Media Elite Club

Sports Writers Media Elite Club….1-9-13…1:00pm


This has been a bad week or so to be a member of the sports media in North America. From the NFL coaching carousal on through the ending of the NHL Lockout and straight into the MLB Hall of Fame voting disaster. Ouch!

When I was a kid I looked up to the Phil Pepe’s and the then young Bill Madden’s and Mike Lupica’s of the world. I was a huge fan of Dick Young even after he was responsible for having my favorite athlete, Tom Seaver, deported from my favorite sports franchise, the New York Mets, to Cincinnati. The days of reporters “reporting” seem long gone to me. Back then for every Dick Young grandstanding article about what was best for New York and their National League Baseball Club there were 15 articles on baseball itself. Now everything is flipped upside down and outside in

When the annual Black Monday NFL coaching terminations took place the day after the season ended the NFL media elite drove full bore into rumorville. Twitter and web sites like ESPN.com and Si.com were full of asleep at the wheel sports writers boring the sports fan with made up “inside sources say” useless information. Things got so bad that when an actual true to fact real rumor took place Jay Glazer of Fox Sports bashed Adam Schefter of ESPN for stealing his rumor and not giving him credit for breaking the rumor in question! Once again the high majority of these reports were rumor, not fact. Mike Tannenbaum was sure to be fired by the New York Jets, but remain as the team’s expert Capologist even though he was responsible for putting the Jets in the financially disastrous situation that they now find themselves in. I give half credit to every media member for that rumor. He was fired.

Then there were the amazing amount of coaching rumors that took place at such a dizzying pace that I need coffee to keep up and Xanax to slow down. At one point Bruce Arians, the Indianapolis Colts offensive coordinator was headed to both Buffalo to coach the Bills because, actually I’m not sure why he was headed there, and he was headed to San Diego to coach the Chargers. The Chargers rumor was fueled by the fact that in Indianapolis he took over for the cancer stricken Head Coach Chuck Pagano during the season and San Diego employs Pagano’s brother as defensive coordinator. So apparently Coach Arians is incapable of coaching without standing next to a Pagano brother I guess

My favorite rumor was circulated by John “Maaaa!” Clayton of ESPN who stated that Oregon head Coach Chip Kelly was going to make his decision very quickly because that’s the pace of his offense. Kelly took almost a week to decide to stay at Oregon. On a side note; I wanted to quote him with his exact words, but “Maaaaa!” took his tweet down. Of course he did. Why would he respond to my tweet asking him if he was serious?

The NHL was no better in my rear view. 10 days ago they all reported that the season was in jeopardy of being canceled only to report later on that they knew “all along” that the owners and players would work it out by the mid-January deadline that they decided upon as being real even after telling everyone that we’d have hockey by December. Yes, I said they ALL REPORTED IT that way. This led to another phenomenon that made itself visible, but most fans ignored instead of ignoring the reporters themselves. If you are a member of the media elite it is more than ok to send a tweet to the reporter standing next to you, then both of you can take the credit for the “breaking news” tweet. A better example would be how many members of the mostly Canadian press were found complaining via twitter about how cold New York City was when they were forced to stand on the corner outside of the building where the NHL owners were meeting. I say “forced” tongue in cheek of course, even if they didn’t.

Then on Sunday morning the news broke that every fan of the NHL was waiting impatiently for. It broke somewhere around 5amcnyt (Cold New York Time). The assembled media was finally going to be able to get some sleep! That’s what they were the most concerned with? Not the news that the lockout had ended, but that they had to stay awake until 5am and how tired they all were. They were still complaining even AFTER being allowed into the hotel where the owners and players stayed awake all night negotiating a settlement! Just search the tweets by Pierre LeBrun of TSN/ESPN, Elliot Freidman of CBC, Nick Kyrpreos of Sportsnet, and every other NHL media elite member.

Today was a great day to laugh at those elite snobs because the Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager Brian Burke was fired and none of them saw that one coming. Well, unless you believe them when they say that they saw this coming way back in June…as if that counts today when they all missed the story

This leads us to the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame vote that was announced earlier today. I say “Cluster” you say”…..” That sums up that disasterpiece in a wordless comment. The high and mighty writers who are members of the Baseball Writers Association of America voted nobody into the Hall of Fame based on rumor and the fact that not knowing the facts passes for the ability to form an honest opinion. They either assumed that everyone who was eligible to be elected was on steroids when they played or that the new age-should be outlawed- statistics that many of them swear by these days prove everything that seeing can’t possibly be proven just by seeing.

Take for example former Houston Astros second baseman Craig Biggio who had garnered roughly 2/3 of the required votes cast, and uncast, but needed to get to 3/4 of the total vote in order to gain acceptance into the Hall of Fame. If the eye test is still a decent barometer of how a player played, what drugs he may or may not have been on when he played, and how those once unreachable numbers were reached, then he was a shoe in for the Hall of Fame. He was a very good player at 4 different positions- catcher, second base, centerfield, and left field. That has to stand as someone having played well above the level of being just very good at 1 position even if it doesn’t mean greatness. To the naked eye he certainly didn’t appear to be an enlarged human being by any stretch of the imagination. He collected over 3000 hits with many of them being doubles along the way. He was considered one of the two leaders on his team along with Jeff Bagwell, so the leadership factor should have been considered before the media elite marked, or left blank, their ballots and sent them in to be counted. He was also never accused of doing anything wrong as far as I can remember so the idea that he was a player of ill repute wouldn’t pass the eye test either. Yet there he is on the outside looking in.

Then there is curious case of Jack Morris. During the 1980’s and early 1990’s he was dominant as a pitcher. He was a member of 3 World Series Championships on 3 different teams and was the ace of each team. He was the winning pitcher in what may have been the finest pitched World Series game of all time- game 7 1991- when he refused to come out of the game and went the entire 10 innings. His opponent for that game was Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz who most sports writers feel will be a lock to make the Hall of Fame when he is eligible. Some writers go so far as to call him the greatest post-season pitcher of all time. I like Smoltz, but he lost the biggest game he ever pitched in to Morris and he was only a member of 1 World Series Championship. If this was a math exam then 1+1 just equaled duh!

The sports writers will stake their claim that Jack Morris just didn’t have the statistics to back up my claim of his dominance. He lost a lot of games and had a high E.R.A and W.A.R (even though there are at least 3 separate definitions of whatever W.A.R. is deeming it to be a weird statistic at best.) I say to them this: Whenever I saw him pitch a game I expected him to win the game. It is that simple and does not require an over-observation or explanation. When he pitched we all thought he’d win the damn game

Then there of course is the twitterverse war going on for the past 2 hours or so between the elite media and the baseball fan. Actually the writers haven’t said much since their misguided votes were counted. Some of them did take the time out to send sarcastic replies to its followers who pointed out the writers foolishness: see Pedro Gomez of ESPN and other writers who consistently fail to respond to any tweet that questions them using logic. Instead they reply to those that say “na na na na na” because it requires no explanation of their thoughts, only grammar skills. I believe that both sides of this keyboard war agree that the Barry Bonds’ and Roger Clemons’ of the world knowingly took steroids. There is enough proof circulating that can support that claim. But for the Mike Piazza’s and Jeff Bagwell’s of the baseball world to not be inducted was simply a cowardice act played out by the baseball media elite. The fear of being proven right was enough for them to do something wrong. They are afraid of electing someone to the Hall of Fame only to have them admit to being a former steroid user and that can’t happen under their watch! The problem with that thinking is that means no one gets in ever again. Do I think Mike Piazza used steroids, yeah I do. Do I think Greg Maddox used steroids, no I don’t. Can I prove either case, no I can’t. Should we close the doors to the Hall of Fame forever, no we shouldn’t. But that’s the argument that the Baseball Writers Association of America just started. When assuming to know everything you have proven to know nothing.

For my part I have sent tweets to everyone that I have mentioned concerning my stances on the 3 topics above. I have asked them all to email me and that offer stands, but we all know that no one will respond to a nobody like me clicking away at a keyboard because I’m not one of them. What I am however is a sports fan and that makes me equal to any writer pretending to play God when it comes to spreading an NFL coaching rumor or complaining about being cold or standing on some perch preaching about who shalt pass into the Halls of Fame and Justice and who shalt not.

Once again, my email address is callmesomeone@gmail.com Feel free to contact me with a reply. I will check in as often as possible, meaning whenever I feel a sudden presence of energy from a member of the sports writer media elite

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Naturally Hockey Loses

Naturally Hockey Loses


And just like that with a stroke of a wink all is forgiven and forgotten. With the lights from a bank of mostly Canadian tv cameras blinding them from seeing the wounded, Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr smiled, shook hands, and lied. They lied to the assembled press-once again mostly Canadian. They lied to the camera and they lied to the fans. Guess which two of the three I don’t care about?

Within moments of waking up I was bombarded with the glorious news of the Second Coming, I mean the lockout had finally ended. I had NHL Network radio on and they were going over the supposed details one by one. I put my laptop on and headed straight for twitter and discovered a bunch of weeping sheep bending on wounded pride as they surrendered to the demands of greedy owners and players alike to yield. I made a cup of coffee and shook my damn head repeatedly

By the time I got through reading tweet after tweet from the almost entirely Canadian members of the media I was thoroughly confused, even after drinking the coffee and feeling alive and alert. Every media member seemed to think there was cause for a celebration. But not because the lockout had ended, but because they could finally get some sleep. I believe the most over used line was “Last update before I finally get some sleep..” of course they all returned roughly 5 minutes later with another batch of useless updates designed to be read as information from an insider.

I wanted to strangle my computer. I understand that the Pierre Le Brun’s of the world are respected journalist with degrees and I’m some nobody shlub with arthritis, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t confused as to which one of us should be getting paid and which one was the shlub with a laptop and a dream. Between Elliot Friedman of CBC, Pierre Le Brun and the rest of the bitching moaners of ESPN/TSN I was afraid to read anything else. Then of course I read what Nick “Know it ALL” Kypreos of SportsNet had to say and I was convinced that everyone needed a time-out for nappy nap time. It’s not that they didn’t have anything to report, but they didn’t have anything to report. This was a clear case of people working for news outlets having to report something AND give an opinion of it. They were opining on rumor not fact. This I know because each tweet, article, live shot from outside the NHL store or Hotel in Manhattan were prefaced with the usual “Of course we are only guessing because we haven’t read the agreement” line

From there it got worse-or dumber-or dumberer? Fans were celebrating as if Santa Claus had just come down their internet connection and delivered them a big fat present. They of course forgot receiving nothing but a big fat steaming pile of donkey…coal the past 4 months. “Yay, thank God for the NHL!” blah blah blah. These are the same idiots that proclaimed their hatred for Bettman and Fehr as recently as yesterday and were now ready to anoint everyone a saint. When they started in with the “Hey Pierre, or Elliot, or Steve- how do you think my team will do” garbagiola I wanted to drink something stronger than coffee, but it was still only about 9am west coast time. So instead I said something that was on my mind and that’s when the proverbial shitake mushroom hit the fan

As you’ve probably guess by now I’m not exactly the kindest person in the world and I don’t think that highly of people. By acting, more accurately-BEING- who I am I don’t have many twitter followers and I really don’t care. I hate that stupid word anyway. Follower, what is everyone the messiah, or something? So as the act goes I bitch, they unfollow, I bitch some more, they leave in mass. Today they either all returned or they at least stayed to try the veal because when I scolded Brad Richards all hell broke loose.

You see Brad was doing something I found pathetic- he was retweeing everything his adoring public tweeted him. If you saw Brad’s name it was sure to have a RT next to it. So I said the following:

Big #NYR fan who is still pissed at all of you. The players/owners owe us fans a sincere apology not RT’s of ass kissers

And with that my private little twitetrverse took off. I received more retweets, favorites, comments than anything I’ve said on any social network site- I bitch a lot of Facebook as well. The only difference being that I know most of the people on my supposed friends list over there, maybe I only remember about half of them, but I was stoned quite often as a kid. It was the Bronx after all

For every 10 pats on the back I received, I received 1 ass kissing response. These varied from stupidity like “Leave Brad alone” to “shut up” to “You’re acting like they burned your house down”. Of course anything that mentioned Brad by name was actually using his twitter handle so Brad could see his royal ass being kissed. My favorite though was the house burning down comment. I even congratulated the idiot for figuring out a way to combine a public apology with an episode of Rescue Me. Then I eventually told that idiot to shut up

In between these tweets I tried to slide in a few questions for Kyrpeos, Le Brun (is there a space between the Le and Brun?), Friedman and such just to see if the famous would respond to the nobody. I’ll allow you time for a private chuckle knowing that you already know that answer. The two members that did reply were Steve Zipay of Newsday who answered my useless question about salary cap space for Michael Del Zotto and Bill Jaffe. Bill replied to a stupid joke I made about missing seeing him on the NHL Network mispronouncing big words. And he only replied after a few of his defenders of the faith tried mocking me first. Still, he said something silly back and I respected him for it.

The points that I am attempting to make here are these-

1-The fans rushed too quickly back to a sport that gave us all the collective middle finger since the Kings hoisted The Cup without so much as a hint of having a conscience and I was repulsed.

2- The media will very rarely talk to anyone not in the media even though they read all of their tweets.

3- If you kiss enough asses someone will RT you and that is about the dumbest thing our society has taken from the invention of the internet.

4- There are many people, fans, die-hards that feel just like I do about being mistreated by both the owners and the players and don’t want to see any fake thank you’s that are sure to arrive daily. We want change and we want it now! The fans deserve to have a voice and I am publicly asking Gary Bettman, the NHL, the NHLPA, and the members of the NHL media to contact me @ callmesomeone@gmail.com

5- I am a fan. I am what I call a cult member of the New York Rangers brotherhood. I have been a member since the late 70’s and I have given my money to these owners and players over the years. This is money that I don’t have, but thanks to all of us, they now do. I am a fan and want to continue being a fan. So I ask you all to tell me why and explain to me how?

Drop the Puck and Stop Screwing the Fan,

Doug Hoey

PS- I am aware that the Pierre Le Brun’s of the world have a degree in Journalism as well as one in English and I don’t. I did mention growing up in the Bronx didn’t I?

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The Weekend That We Wish Never Was

The Weekend That We Wish Never Was.

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The Weekend That We Wish Never Was

The Weekend That We Wish Never Was……12-17-12…3:09am

I’ve spent the past few hours trying to figure people out. So far I’ve come up empty. The thing is I’m not sure it’s me. I believe it really is them this time. Somehow I’ve become the voice of sanity while acting insane to some. They’ve become the voice of insanity while proving to be insane to most. That makes perfect logic to me

The majority of my public spouting off has been about gun control and the rights of Americans. The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. Actually it states:

“A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a Free State, the right of the people to bear Arms, shall not be infringed”

Humph! That can be, and has proven to be, very confusing. In one way I can easily say that we as Citizens of the United States according to its Constitution have the right to own weapons. I can also comfortably state that weapons are only legal in the defense of the United States. This has been the cause of a nationwide debate for three days, and counting, due to the massacre in Newtown Connecticut. And the country has been at war with itself all weekend over the very wording of the second amendment. I for one am completely disgusted and sick over this confrontation!

I have stated my position and my reasoning as well as my answers for how to fix a seemingly unimaginable problem on other things I’ve written. My position, in quick form is we need stricter laws on weapons. My reasons are that more access to weaponry leads to more lives lost. My answers on how to fix this is simple- Less guns, more gun tracking, less gun making, more Law Enforcement. Now I’ve gone into this in much more detail already as I’ve stated, but I’d be more than happy to answer any questions anyone has if a more in depth explanation is warranted. For now I’ll allow my answers to be my answer

The puzzling part of this fight to me is the excuses people who are gun enthusiasts come up with to defend their position. I am truly confused as to why anyone needs a weapon that can shoot off a round of bullets in a matter of moments. Did mankind discover Bigfoot only to realize that he has an addiction to chugging kegs of Redbull with a side of the entire inventory from your local Starbucks thus making him impossible to pin down? I cannot fathom who or what needs to be killed that fast and in such a brutal way. Now before anyone questions what I said please let me explain that to me any killing is brutal. No ifs, ands, or whatever’s. Killing is killing and a life lost is a life lost. The point that I’m trying to make is that I do agree that in certain cases it may be okay to own and use a gun as a means of protection. I just think that if a burglar breaks into my house brandishing a weapon and if I am properly trained in the use of a gun, then I can defend myself with one shot. If I’m correct- and I have never touched a gun in my life, proudly, so I am no gun expert by any stretch of the imagination- a six shooter means the gun can have six bullets at the ready in the chamber. If this is correct then I am to also gather that a nine millimeter possesses nine shots at the ready. If these presumptions are true, then as the song says “If 6 was 9, I don’t mind” I think either is enough for protection, especially in this age of everyone carrying a cell phone on their person wherever they are. No burglar can cut the phone line of a mobile phone like they do in the movies before entering a house. Hear burglar, call police. See burglar, shoot 6 to 9 times while waiting for the police to arrive.

Are there flaws in my opinion, probably? I don’t know for sure having never been in this situation myself. I just can’t see the reasoning behind spraying the house up with so many bullets at such a maddening pace that the walls look like a Jackson Pollack design. Once again- More bullets equals more of a chance of killing the wrong person. It just seems illogical to me on so many levels

I saw where someone posted the following statement tonight on the Facebook page of a friend of mine who more or less agrees with my anti-weapons stance. This was the dumbest justification that I have seen so far:

“46k people died in car accidents, more than gun crimes. Even more so if you take away suicide by gun”

As I not so eloquently asked/scolded/questioned with malice of this idiot, “did you really just say that?” Trust me I was much more inquisitive and colorful in my disgust of his statistically filled farce of a point. I’m just doing everything I can right now to write something clean for once.

This misuse of statistics was wrong on every level. For starters he equated car accidents to gun crimes. Then he equated gun crimes to something meaningless. Worse yet was that he just out and out dismissed suicide by gun as  being important. It was as if he was saying “hey if you killed yourself it’s your fault so you don’t really count as a death.” Or something like that I guess. I honestly blew a gasket when I read that garbage (I was so close to breaking my clean language mandate just now)

Now normally I have a rule when it comes to social media- Keep your real life out of it! I broke that rule 100 times over tonight, with ease. My internal temperature was set to boil and my veins mixed with my brain and somehow I left my state of mind at the enter button right after I typed out a scorching retort that included these basic facts:

I have a sister who died in a car accident

I have a brother who shot himself to death with a gun

To me our dear Mr. Statistic had crossed a line so personal that if we were in the same zip code violence would have been the only answer. I had to settle for flying words of vengeance backed up by truth and reality with a deep portioned side of sarcasm.

He responded by talking about drunk drivers killing people and something about getting a gun in Mexico. His response was so beyond disbelief that one can only hope that he wasn’t driving anywhere tonight. He would’ve become one of his own non justifiable statistics

Still the arguments continued in full force on every TV show. I watched as news reporters interviewed the children who attended the school where the massacre took place. Then I watched a host- Wolf Blitzer- explain that these interviews only took place after asking their parents for permission first. It was obvious that his station-CNN- had begun to see the barrage of tweets and other various social media displays of disgust quickly sent out by outraged Americans from all corners of the country. Most likely people from countries around the world chimed in as well. It was that revolting to many of us.

I watched as one host-Piers Morgan- was so livid about the lack of gun control in this country that I was beaming with pride every time he spoke. Then I watched in shock as I realized on his panel was a guy hawking a book espousing the virtue that if everyone owned a gun we’d all be safe. What struck me as unbelievable was that this host booked this same guest after the shootings in Aurora Colorado a few months back. It was already clearly known to the host, the producer, as well as the audience what this man’s opinion was, yet the need to book a show took precedence over common sense. Sitting next to madman number one was a guy who shared his belief that if every teacher in every school all across America possessed a gun on their person during school hours, then these tragedies wouldn’t happen anymore. I literally smacked myself in the head and threw something at the TV. Being married to a woman who has taught second grade for the better part of the past 14 years or so- only to be interrupted by trying her hand at teaching first grade and elementary school autism for a year each- only reinforced my thought process that if I were a computer I would have been in meltdown mode

On Saturday I watched as a United States Senator- Toni Boucher of Connecticut- was being interviewed on live TV-MSNBC- from the scene of the shootings. She had to look down at her notes as she named the town of Newtown. She continued to slyly read from her script as she offered up her full-fledged support of the surrounding towns. I don’t believe she attempted to mention the names of the surrounding towns though. Her script would have been too long to hide.

I also saw a tweet proclaiming that another United States politician proudly proclaimed that she would introduce an Assault Weapons Ban when Congress reconvenes in January. Her name is Dianne Feinstein and she has been around Washington DC for years. I wondered where her Assault Weapons Ban has been hiding all this time. My best guestimates were that it was either never written or it was sold out for something else that she desperately needed to pass through Congress, or the Senate, that she deemed to be of the utmost importance at the time. Give a politician a tragedy and you give a tragedy over to a false hero

I also watched as a mother stood at the scene, I believe this had to be Friday night, next to her daughter and was interviewed about the day’s events. She had nothing to offer in the way of insight. She wasn’t at the school when it happened nor had she ever heard of the teacher that she was asked about. Yet there she was exposing her very young daughter to a bank of lights beaming off of a remote television truck while she explained nothing. Her daughter even stated that she couldn’t hear the interviewer- I think it was Anderson Cooper- because her ear piece was having a problem. That struck me as a kid who was being trained in the ways of the media in order to sell a story. Was this mother out there only to ready her family for a forthcoming book tour? This thought sickened me so I stopped watching the TV for a while. Then when I returned to my viewing quarters I changed the channel- this time to Fox News and Bill O’Reilly- and guess which mother/daughter combination was being interviewed by the host of The Factor? Yep

Anger was forming inside of me, replacing my sorrow, and that was making me even angrier. The rub is that I was now angry with myself now for allowing this all to consume me. So I began again to read the social media comments and lost it. Facebook was full of prayer chains, prayer candles; never forget pictures, and the wrong name of the shooter. Twitter was full of the same, only I had to click the links of people who had nothing to say so they just passed along what their friends had passed to them. This to me reeks of people wanting to be noticed for being nice. I have another much more descriptive phrase for what my thoughts are exactly for those people, but I refrain

Even the people on the side of gun control were in on the “Look ma, I’m so smart” action. I read a statistic stating that 18 women died as well as 8 men. This was accompanied by an explanation that serial killers are almost always males and almost always single out women to kill. I was annoyed, angry, troubled, and disgusted by this misuse of the public’s trust in someone proclaiming to have the interest of the people at heart in his every action. I asked him via twitter if he was seriously going to go with that as a report. I received no response. I mentioned in another tweet that I was disgusted by what he’d said. Still he said nothing to me in return. However his sheep- my nick name for people that believe everything famous people say- started to tweet me in his defense. How could I challenge these undeniable facts? Did I not know that the principle of the school was female as were most for the teachers? Did I not know that when the Amish shooting took place that yes, the shooter did aim at the women? In fact the line about women being targets was constantly being tossed at me as if I was a male chauvinist pig or something? None of the women defenders of the faith understood my original question, so I calmly explained my question to them. After all I wasn’t angry with them. I was disgusted by their fearless leader. Why did this famous male refer to the 20 children as women and men? Did he truly believe this was a case of a shooter picking out his targets and doing whatever he could to only kill the very young girls? Even if this proves to be true he didn’t have any facts to base this opinion on. I was and still am appalled that the esteemed Michael Moore, protector of the wronged, rich film maker who makes more money off of one documentary than most of will see in a lifetime, yet dresses like a bum in order to look the part, would use dead babies- to me a 6 or 7 year young child is still a baby- just to prove he’s smarter than the rest of us? Di-sgust-(but never by him)-ted! At least his sheep heard me out and one of them eventually ended up favoriting and retweeting some of the things I said. Little victories to me seem so little when fighting a fight that just seems so much bigger than being retweeted by a stranger

Another cause of contention with me was a guy whose job is to check up on the media-Howard Kurtz, ironically also of CNN. Trust me I was not looking to attack CNN. I just happened to watch their coverage more than I did the other channels for some reason- He tweeted out a link to an online article he had written that bashed Facebook for getting the name of the shooter wrong. This was incredulous to me. Here was a man who writes a blog on an online news site and holds court on a show that is shown on an all-news channel blasting social media for allowing what his very own employers allowed. Then never mentioning that his bosses did the same thing! Ugggghhhh!!!! I of course tried confronting Mr. Kurtz as well and as well it was to no avail. There is a basic rule of thumb on social media sites that will rarely let you down. Unless you are a celebrity your questions will never be answered. The only way that you will receive a response at all if you are a nobody like yours truly, is if you say something so ludicrous that the person you are aiming your question at shows it to everyone in order to prove that they have nut cases attacking them. What this proves however is that they read everything that is sent their way, yet will never respond to an honest question. They are too good for the little people that they are supposedly speaking up for with their famous voices of type written word. They will send out almost everything that is sent in that praises them however, especially if it’s sent in by another famous person. This you can always rely on

What held me glued to the ongoing debates so passionately was the continuous use of the term “gun control” Over and over everywhere and under and out of everything people were either totally against the idea of gun control in full or whole heartedly for the idea as an act of brilliance. A few people were wishy-washy, but like I said, that was only a small portion of the people that chimed in with an opinion on this by now raging debate. This just kept leading everyone around and around in a circle as the second amendment was debated in front of the world. So I got an idea; what if we changed the term to “weapons restriction” or something similar? Could this take the idea of hiding behind a law that was written well over 200 years ago out of the equation? After all isn’t a gun really a weapon and isn’t restricting a weapon a good idea to most people with basic human common sense?

Once again just to touch on where my beliefs stand, I am not trying to push the idea that all guns need to be removed from society right away. I understand the complications in enforcing such a law. I may be against guns, but I’m not crazy! I would just go back to what I said earlier- we need more rules. Rules can come in many shapes and forms. For instance I believe in a tracking system that can track every gun in this country whether legal or illegal. You mean to tell me we could send a man to the moon over 40 years ago, but we can’t keep a database up to date? I’m for psychiatric evaluations in full, not some simple five minute test. I believe in deeper, longer background checks I’m for a much longer period of time in between the request to purchase a gun and when that gun can be purchased to allow for a cooling off period in case it’s being bought for revenge. I also wonder why all guns can’t be made with the serial number engraved in it in as many places as possible if only to make it more difficult to scratch the serial number off? And of course I’m for an all-out ban on anything that can shoot fast and furiously at another living thing. A six or nine shooter seems plenty enough to me

These are just a few of my ideas and only a brief description on each. Once again, if someone wants to ask me questions feel free to do so. I’m all vocal chords

Another part of the debate that swept the country this weekend has been one of timing. Was it or was it not the proper time to approach these subjects? As with everything else that was brought upon us by these tragic events the country seemed split with their opinions. If you were very vocal such as me then the timing seemed appropriate. If you are for weapons restrictions, but aren’t the most vocal of speakers, well then maybe we should wait until after this tragedy is behind us. If you’re pro weaponry then you just think the entire conversation is stupid because you have the right to form a Militia at any time…or so you believe.

I believe that there is a wrong time to be right, a right time to be right, and never a right time to be wrong. If you don’t strike while the fire is lit you risk the fire being extinguished before you can even warm up. I chose to speak up, obviously

Now we head into a new week and an entire new set of questions will arise as we still struggle to answer the questions we’ve been faced with for the past few days. This will be accompanied by the videos of funerals being held around the town of Newtown Connecticut for the entire world to see and weep along with. And I’m not sure the country is ready for what’s next.

Last night President Obama spoke in Newton Connecticut and for the most part I believed his words rang true. However being the natural born pessimist that I am, I question whether or not he will back up his words with actions. Something somewhere in the back of my mind keeps harkening back to this past election season. Way back then neither candidate would speak out against guns for fear of losing the voters who attached themselves to the National Rifle Association. Will the president stand up to the NRA now that he has no votes to lose or will he buckle to the wishes of the very noticeable few? Just like every other part of this debate-only time will tell.






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There is a rush to judgment in this country that baffles me. Everyone has to know “WHY?” as soon as something happens. I do it. You do it. Everybody does it. And it’s stupid at best

In baseball we all need to know why the pitcher threw a particular pitch

In football we need to know why the quarterback missed an obvious to us wide open wide receiver

At work we need to know why the boss told us to do something

In families we need to know why another family member didn’t make their bed

In tragedy we all need to know why it happened right after it happens

Maybe need is a way of dealing with grief.

Maybe knowing why is comforting to people?

Maybe needing to know why makes people feel more intelligent

I always prefer to ask “HOW?”

How can we prevent a tragedy from happening?

How is that we allow people to access weapons so easily?

How does a person snap?

How is it preventable?

Many people would accuse me of piling on to a touchy subject due to the events of the day

All of them would be wrong

I learned to ask “HOW?” 25 years ago when my brother committed suicide

Every day, all day I was inundated with that dreaded word “WHY?”

Why did Kevin shoot himself?

Why didn’t Kevin talk to anyone?

Why didn’t you stop him? (my personal favorite)

Why, Why, Why, Why, Why

The truth is no one knows “WHY?”

Had I known “WHY?” does it not make sense that I would have prevented it?

Since then I’ve chosen to concentrate on “HOW?”

How could I have helped him?

How could he have gotten help for himself?

How can I help the next person who sends off vibes that they are in trouble?

How can I stop them?

“WHY?” as a question is an afterthought

“HOW?” is a means to preventative medicine


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Gun Control in America

Newtown Ct……12-14-12


It’s not every day that you see a sitting President wiping tears away from their eyes while holding a press conference. Today was that day

If you’re American then you already know the “what’s” “where” and what people say are the “why’s” of what happened. What none of us know is the “how” as in how the hell does someone do this? I’m not exaggerating when I state that I’m shaking as I write this.

My wife just called and was bitching about her day. She’s a teacher. What the fuck was I supposed to say to her just now “Just be glad you didn’t have to shield your kids from a rage of bullets”? Trust me when I say this, teachers have a hard enough time being teachers without having to worry about their kids, and I do mean their kids, dodging bullets. For 6-8 hours a day these kids are in the care of their teachers. The teachers, as I’ve come to learn over time, do much more than teach the base subjects such as English and Math. They teach life. Your kids’ teacher has probably taught your child something important today and it had nothing to do with why your child was there.

Watching the events of today unfold on television was nauseating. Watching as CNN interviewed children that attended that Elementary School was horrifying. Listening to Wolf Blitzer explain that they only did so after asking the parent for permission first was insulting.

Dear Wolf,

I give you permission to interview my ass

Something tells me that you won’t interview my ass because it isn’t a smart thing to do

So tell me, what the fuck is the difference?


Sincerely Yours,

Common Sense

I’m sure this scenario played out over and over again on every news outlet within filming distance of the school. To all of you mother fuckers who stooped so low as to ask a child what they heard as a barrage of bullets sailed over the heads of their classmate, killing 20 of them as well as 6 teachers I have this question to ask of you:

Do you own a Visa?

If not can you please acquire one as soon as possible and get the fuck out of America?!?!?!

If this is what passes for reporting nowadays, then I’d rather every news outlet sell clothes at a discounted rate. It’s always been bad enough to me that we are forced to watch fake-failed actors reporting serious news as if they are in shock only to follow it up with the proverbial “And here’s Chip with the weather forecast. Gonna be a cold one, eh Chip?” Now we have reporters asking 5, 6, 7 year young children to describe the sounds of gun fire. Don Henley described it best when he called it “Dirty Laundry”

Where does today leave us as a nation? Confused, Lost, Opinionated? More? Less? I don’t know and neither does anyone else. Most of us have our views on gun control. However only some of us have publicly stated them before. Here is my view-


The question I believe is how and what to do about controlling weapons. After all aren’t guns just that, weapons? If it kills in an instant, it’s a weapon. If a knife is sharp and long- it’s a weapon too. I just added that in for all of the pro-gun enthusiasts who bring that up in their nonsensical and comical defense.

Here is my plan for better gun control:

1-      Time. We need to require longer periods of time between when the purchaser submits a request for a gun and when they are issued a gun

2-      2- Deeper background checks. If we need to go back 5 generations in order to make sure that no one in their family has been accused of a crime involving guns, then so be it. This doesn’t necessarily exclude the purchaser from buying the gun; it just gives those with questions that need answering more to answer to.

3-      Mental health checkups. If you wish to purchase a gun then you agree to a psychological exam. Not some 5 question questioner neither. I’m talking about a full on psych eval. The kind that they should give anyone wishing to join the military. If you want to be entrusted with something that can kill someone on a whim, you must explain how you wouldn’t use it for any of the 1000’s of wrong reasons.

4-      This goes for the Military as well as Police Officers, etc. too. There are plenty of people who are hired to protect us that shouldn’t possess a weapon. This doesn’t mean that they can’t sit at a desk and sift through the minutia that already exists all over the internet and other places that can lead to the prevention of tragedies

5-      More minutia’s. If minutia means endless information then I want even more endless information

6-      More Law Enforcement tracking down every lead that comes in on where a gun is at all times. People are often stating that a tragedy can happen even with the strictest of gun laws and they’re right. However making it easier is not the answer. If a gun is made then we’d better be damn sure at all times where that fucking gun is. If it is used in a crime then the person whose sole responsibility in purchasing that gun was to either protect themself or their their family members gets held accountable until they can prove that they are innocent. If your gun gets stolen I would hope you’d know within 24 hours because you’d check every day to make sure it’s there and secure

7-      Serial numbers inside every gun. All over the gun. If a criminal wants to scratch off the serial number, then make it more difficult to do so. Hope that they aren’t smart enough to catch every distinguishing mark that gun has inscribed on it

8-      More Law Enforcement in charge of gun running and gun making factories. That’s their entire job. They never even have to leave their office. Once they use their research and contacts to acquire the information that a gun is in the hands of someone that it doesn’t belong to, then they pass it along directly to a tactical force that is on stand-by at all times. No middle men. No excessive paperwork that could lead to that one crooked cop passing along intel. Find the gun-Get the gun-Lock up the person with the gun

9-      Stiffer penalties for making, owning, selling, giving away illegal guns. Remember Papillon? I understand that our prison system is overcrowded and plenty of criminals are getting released due to budgetary cut backs. Fuck’Em, put them all on an island and give them a book on farming and how to raise animals. Better yet- give them the guns and let them shoot it out for survival. Make sure this Island has a strong wave current and is protected at all times by sharks. Fuck budgetary restraints. Feed the leftover criminals to the sharks. This entire process comes with a cost of startup seed for plants and a few chickens.

10-   Less Guns. Make less guns. That’s pretty self-explanatory

11-   If you need more than one gun, prove why you need more than one gun. IF you need more than three guns, move to another country

12-   Ban all weapons that can shoot up a village-or an Elementary School or a Movie Theatre- in a matter of moments. Every time I watch the movie “The Deer Hunter” I watch as Robert DiNero takes his time, steadies his aim, and shoots the buck with one rifle shot. So no, I don’t believe just because you’re a licensed hunter you need a goddamn artillery

13-   I’m sure there are 100’s of reason that I’m not thinking of right now, but that’s 100’s more than any gun enthusiast has for needing their fucking freedom. We don’t need to arm a militia to know that militia’s ain’t the brightest fucking people in America

That’s it for me for now. We as Americans are usually smart enough to figure stuff out for ourselves. Those of us that aren’t are usually spouting some rights issue first implemented by our Founding Fathers over 200 years ago. Time marches on and so should laws. If George Washington was so fucking right all the time, thenwhy did he own slaves?

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‘Twas the Night before Election Day

‘Twas the Night before Election Day…11-5-12

‘Twas the night before the election and all through the U.S.

Not a citizen knew the exact direction, the country was screwed

The chads were all hung in the voting booths with dare

In hopes that someone would collect their fair share

The grown-ups were all restless filled with wallow and dread

While visions of someone actually winning clouded their heads

And ‘mama in her Italian moo moo and me looking dapper

Had just unracked our brains and enjoyed a few extra night cappers

When on my tv there arose such a clatter

I switched on each channel to see wtf was the matter

Away on my screen I saw all my cash

Another damn ad about me losing my ass

Sandy was at rest like a moon with no glow

I switched to Skina Max for a moment to see something below

When what to my wondering member should appear?

But those fine ass looking lesbians the republicans call queer!

With a flick of my bic I finished quite quick

I knew at that moment I must clean my prick

But more rapid than eagles CNN had stolen my frame

Goddamn you Wolf Blitzer and the gay guy, what’s his name?!

“Now Hannity! now, Maddow! now, O’Reilly! now, Morgan!

Now Anderson! now, Blitzer! now, Mathews! now, Reverend Al Sharpton!

To the top of the screen! To that bottom message thing called a “crawl”

Now get the fuck away from me you lying bastards and die once and for all!

As dry leaves that won’t leave after Hurricane Sandy flew by

When they uprooted New Jersey and blew Staten Island goodbye

As I drew in my head and needed no more ad signs to show proof

I wished for death to all the tv talking head jackasses with mouths much like hooves

The Romneys were dressed in fur, from head to lavish foot

While the Obamas wore clothes bought at Goodwill covered in gold plated soot

A bundle of votes he had flung on his back

He even had Jay Z rapping while gripping Springsteen’s nut sack

The Presidential race now as tight as braces on teeth

The smoke blowing out of the strategists asses looking like wreaths

Between Bloomberg’s dead face and Christie’s huge belly

That shook when he patroled the Jersey Shore, now called South Eastern Philly

He was chubby and plump, quite an eyeful of half man/half elf

And I pee’d when he walked by on my tv in spite of myself

And laying his finger on the side of nose

He cursed out the Mayor of Atlantic City for the decisions he chose

I lay back in my bed, as I gave my wife the quick whistle

Just then I saw Wolf Blitzer again, collapsing my Viagra’d thistle

But I heard him exclaim, ” Doug, get some fast sleep tonight,

Come this time tomorrow they will be no goddamn winner in sight!”

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The Dull Monty

The Dull Monty….11-4-12…10:16pm

Over the course of this drawn out- over indulged-under exposed- electoral season, I have come up with one thought that seems to satisfy my urge to yell constantly:

Everyone is full of shit!

Sean Hannity is full of shit

Lawrence O’Donnell is full of shit

Andrea Mitchell is full of shit-and a proven liar

Bill O’Reilly is full of shit

Erin Burnett is full of shit

The Five is full of shit-as is The Cycle

Eliot Spitzer is full of shit

Chris Mathews is full of shit

News Nation is full of shit-whatever the hell that is exactly

Cenk Uygur is full of shit

Great Van Susteran- is full of shit

Ed Schultz is full of shit- talks a lot of shit too

Neil Cavuto is full of shit

Piers Morgan is full of shit

Joy Behar is full of shit

MSNBC is full of shit- The entire “news” division

Fox News is full of shit

CNN is full of shit

Al Gore is full of shit- I mean CurrentTv, of course

Political strategists are full of shit

Pollsters are full of shit

Op-Ed writers are full of shit- I think. I don’t really read any. I hate opinions

The New York Times is full of shit

The New York Daily News is full of shit

The New York Post is full of shit- shocking, huh?

White House correspondents are full of shit

Campaign managers are full of shit

Stephanie Cutter-Bitch is full of shit- and an evil looking empty space freak

Romney is full of shit

Obama is full of shit

Election Day is full of shit- it’s Election Month these days

Fairness is full of shit

Vindictiveness is full of shit

Voting is full of shit- the entire process of

You are full of shit

I am full of shit

This whole damn situation is full of shit- and so it goes

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